New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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