Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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