You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
