I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize