If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
