Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
