he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
