i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
