hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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