I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
