god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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