I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
