the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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