I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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