he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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