I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
