just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize