are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
