We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
