we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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