I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
