I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
