How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
