He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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