end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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