May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
