this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
