I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
