shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
