I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
