Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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