His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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