I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
