winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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