I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
