Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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