the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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