I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
