My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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