is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
