Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
