If that was your dad, he is hot
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
