guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
