He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
