You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
