he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
