The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
