I'm so fucking centered right now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
