so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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