I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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