"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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